I, too, felt overwhelmed when going through the Marzano checklist even though I'm fairly familiar with his work, and have many years experience teaching! I echo what Amy said, be kind to yourself!!! Nothing compares to that first year of teaching - you're trying to figure out EVERYTHING. I cringe at some of the mistakes I made that first year. It sounds to me as though you are already very reflective of your practice, I think that's half the battle! As far as your special ed kids go, let go and breathe! It may not feel as though you are teaching them anything, but I guarantee, they are learning. It may not be the same learning goal that you had for the rest of your students, but just in exploring the media, they are learning. (I spent a year as a houseparent in a group home for mentally disabled men, I feel this qualifies my response, though I am certainly no expert!)
There's so much that goes into being an art teacher, and even more that goes into being a great art teacher. Knowing what it takes to be a 21st century educator and actually putting it into practice are two different things. Hopefully we all aspire to be the best that we can be as a teacher. However, there will be days when you don't feel 100%, days when you jump through hoops that you don't believe in-in the first place, days where you do what you do not because it is the right thing to do, but because it's what you've always done. The reasons could go on forever, but we need to remember from last week's reading, great teachers possess an understanding that being a “great teacher” is a constant struggle to always improve.
Reflecting on my response -
I can't help but think back to that first year of teaching, and oh boy, what a year it was! I had my own son as a student that year for the first time in the classroom. I remember him raising his hand and asking a question that began "Mom,..." One of his fifth grade classmates quipped, "You can't call her that, you have to call her Mrs. Lamme." I quickly put that student in their place, don't mess with the mamma bear. I came unglued on a group of third grade students who didn't get their paint supplies cleaned up quickly enough when it was probably due more to my inexperience and lack of proper procedure than it was to their inability to follow directions. I stayed late, very late every single day and, Lord forbid, having to plan for a sub required more hours of planning and prep than the number of hours I was actually going to be away from the classroom. A seriously crazy parent called and threatened to sue me because as a punishment I kept her child in for five, yes, FIVE whole minutes of recess. I didn't have a lunch break, and my plan period was split into two small chunks of time. It's a miracle not only that I survived, but that I still loved teaching art. Although I tend to view myself as a rule follower, over the years I think I've relaxed. I give myself permission to have bad days, and even, sometimes, a bad week. I've learned to avoid the gossips and negativity, and strive not be BE either of those as well. I celebrate student successes not by the work they create, but by the processes they use to get there, and it's not always some Marzano-like celebration either. Frequently, it's more of a light bulb in my head moment - a WOW, they really GOT that!
It's been a long process, but I can finally be content in the realization that there will always be room for improvement. Not only is that something I can live with, I revel at the opportunity!
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